The holidays carry many layers of emotion. For families like ours, who have experienced deep loss, this season arrives with both warmth and heaviness. While others may focus solely on celebration, we are learning how to hold space for both joy and sorrow—allowing them to exist side by side.
At Avalynn’s Hope Foundation, we understand how complex the holidays can feel for families of medically fragile or disabled children, and for those who are grieving. These weeks can bring back memories, amplify longing, or highlight the absence of a loved one. Still, they can also offer comfort, connection, and moments of peace.
A Gentle Approach to the Holidays
The first holiday season after Avalynn passed was filled with quiet, difficult moments. We didn’t want to ignore her absence, so we found ways to include her in our celebrations. One of the most meaningful things we did was set a candle at the table where she would have sat. We continue that tradition each year as a reminder that she will always have a place with us.
Each December, we decorate the tree with her ornaments. We still buy a new one for her every year. Her stocking hangs with the others. Her handmade decorations are treasured reminders of her presence.
These rituals help keep her spirit alive in our home.
Walking with Openness and Honesty
We try to walk through this time of year with openness and honesty. Each of us processes grief in different ways. Some days we feel talkative, and other days we need quiet. There is no expectation to grieve the same way. What matters most is that we offer each other patience, space, and grace.
We believe in speaking openly about how we’re feeling. If something feels heavy, we talk about it. Avoiding the hard parts only makes them feel larger. Instead, we name our emotions and face them together. That has been a powerful part of our healing.
Creating New Traditions
Thanksgiving has become a time of renewal for our family. Each year, we go camping together. It is a chance to step away from the usual routines and expectations, and simply be present with one another. The quiet of nature offers a peaceful place to reflect, remember, and connect.
We have found that creating new traditions does not replace the old ones. It simply gives us additional ways to feel grounded. Sometimes, these new rhythms can become the ones we look forward to most.
Support for Families in Grief
We know many families are walking through the holiday season with similar emotions. For those caring for medically fragile children, this season can bring both physical and emotional exhaustion. For those who have lost a child, it can feel impossible to explain the complexity of what the holidays bring.
Here are a few practices that have helped us and might offer comfort to others:
- Light a candle in memory of a child who is no longer physically present
- Create a special ornament or decoration that honors their life
- Include their name in your conversations or traditions
- Take time for quiet moments when emotions feel overwhelming
- Allow yourself to celebrate in the way that feels right for your family
- Ask for support when you need it, and accept it when it is offered
There is no single way to move through this season. The most important thing is to be gentle with yourself and those around you.
Carrying Hope Forward
Our mission at Avalynn’s Hope Foundation is rooted in compassion and understanding. We walk beside families facing unimaginable challenges. We offer hope, financial support, and community to help lighten the weight they carry. Every family’s story matters. Every child matters.
This season, we hope you feel supported. We hope you find moments of joy, even in the presence of sorrow. And lastly, we hope you know that your love for your child, your grief, and your hope are all welcome here.
As we decorate our home for the holidays, we remember Avalynn with every sparkling light. Her presence remains part of our story. Her legacy is the heartbeat of this foundation.
