If you or anyone you love has ever been diagnosed with a serious illness, you understand how life-altering it can be. It can bring a whirlwind of emotions, uncertainty, and emotional and practical challenges that need unwavering support and understanding from loved ones.
Knowing how to navigate these delicate situations with care is crucial in providing meaningful help to those who need it. Although most people have the best intentions in these situations, it’s important to remember that certain statements or actions can contribute to or amplify the feeling of overwhelm or helplessness they might already be experiencing. With that in mind, here are some essential “dos and don’ts” to keep in mind when you have a family member facing a serious illness.
Dos:
1. Offer Practical Help: When someone receives a serious illness diagnosis, handling their daily responsibilities and tasks may become overwhelming; offering practical help can provide much-needed relief during this difficult time. Instead of asking open-ended questions, offer to help with specific everyday tasks, such as cleaning their house, preparing meals, taking care of their children or pets, or running errands.
2. Provide Emotional Support: It’s essential to create a safe and supportive environment where your loved one feels comfortable expressing their emotions. Encourage open communication and let them know that it’s okay to not be okay. It’s okay for them to not be strong for you. Be a compassionate listener and offer words of comfort and encouragement when needed.
3. Offer Financial Assistance: Coping with a serious illness often comes with significant financial burdens, including medical expenses, transportation costs, hotel stays, and lost wages. Offering financial assistance can help alleviate some of the stress associated with these expenses. Whether it’s covering medical bills, providing gift cards for groceries, or helping with other practical needs, your financial support can make a meaningful difference.
4. Encourage Connection: Encourage your loved one to connect with others who can offer support and understanding. Whether it’s joining a support group, talking to a therapist, or reaching out to friends and family members, nurturing connections with others who are there to listen about what they’re going through can provide valuable emotional support during challenging times.
Don’ts:
1. Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of asking vague questions like “What can I do for you?” or “How are you feeling?” offer specific assistance and support. By asking yes or no questions such as, “Can I walk your dog?” or “Can I help with laundry?”, you can provide targeted help without adding additional stress.
2. Minimize Their Feelings: Avoid downplaying your loved one’s pain or emotions with phrases like “It could be worse” or “At least you have…” This is especially true when someone passes away. Acknowledge their feelings and validate their experiences without attempting to minimize or dismiss them.
3. Invade Their Privacy: Respect your loved one’s boundaries and privacy, especially during times of illness. Avoid showing up unannounced or sharing personal information without their consent. Ask for permission before visiting or offering assistance and be understanding if they need space or time alone.
Supporting a family member diagnosed with a serious illness requires empathy, patience, and understanding. Your thoughtfulness, compassion, and meaningful help can make a world of difference in their journey towards healing and recovery.If you would like to support our mission of helping families of medically fragile and disabled children get the assistance they need please consider becoming a monthly donor or starting a fundraiser. Every single effort, no matter its size, holds immense power in bringing comfort and relief to families navigating challenging times.
